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Pissed through the Years

Bret's disclaimer for sensitive readers: contains language, but read it anyway. It's really funny! (source:

On a spectrum of emotions, love and hate are the two extremes. Pissed is somewhere beyond hate.

Famous Incidences
Throughout history, there have been many historical events which were influenced or directly caused by being pissed, some good, some bad. Below are a few:
4000 BC - God creates the Earth. makes a guy and girl. the girl ate the forbidden fruit. God is pissed.
3900 BC - Cain is pissed at Abel. Cain kills him and God and Adam are seriously pissed
3800 BC - God is pissed at everyone but Noah. Everybody and dinosaurs are pissed when they got drowned.
3200 BC - Egyptians treats Jews as slaves. God is pissed and sents Moses. AT the same year, Pharaoh's son dies, and is pissed. Pharaoh goes after Moses in Red Sea, but dies. He is pissed.
480 BC - Xerxes attempts to take over Greece. SPARTAAAAAAAAAANs and other Greeks are pissed. Leonidas of Sparta gets last laugh. Xerxes is pissed.
58 BC - Julius Caesar gets pissed and decides to invade Gaul.
44 BC - Several Roman Senators get pissed and conspire to kill Julius Caesar. They are successful, but end up making a lot of other people pissed.
37 BC - Augustus becomes pissed and sick of Marc Antony's shit, and decides to split the Roman Empire.
36 AD - Pontius Pilate has a bad day, and becomes pissed. Some important guy dies.
476 AD - Rome falls. Roman citizens are pissed.
769 AD - Arabs are tired and pissed at having to chisel everything into rock and force the Chinese to introduce paper to the region.
1000 AD - Earth has officially lasted 1000 years since the birth of that one guy who died in 36 AD. Everybody is absolutely pissed.
1111 AD - The year 1111 is a year that can be read backwards and forwards, as well as upside down. This scares people. Some are pissed.
1492 AD - Christopher Columbus "discovered" America. Native Americans are fucking pissed.
1775 AD - The United States starts a revolution against Britain. Needless to say, King George III is pissed.
1789 AD - The French start their own revolution, but are accused of being copy-cats. The French become pissed, but nothing happens.
1812 AD - War of 1812 happens. Nobody is pissed, except for France who is still pissed about being called copy-cats.
1830 AD - Everybody is pissed at their primitive tools and unfulfilling lives, so the Industrial Revolution starts in Britain.
1861 AD - The South gets pissed and secedes. The American Civil War starts.
1865 AD - Lincoln is killed in a theatre, people in the North is superpissed-off.
1912 AD - A particular iceberg in the Northern Atlantic gets pissed, and the RMS Titanic sinks as a result.
1914 AD - Archduke Franz Ferdinand gets his shit ruined. Apparently, this pissed some people off, and World War I starts.
1929 AD - Great Depression strikes, America and everywhere is pissed off.
1939 AD - Germany is pissed. World War II starts.
1945 AD - Atoms get pissed and start to split. Two Japanese cities are wiped off the map as a result. No biggy.
1969 AD - Earth sucks, America goes to the moon, Russia is pissed.
1997 AD - Princess Diana dies. Everybody is permanently pissed at the paparazzi.
1998 AD - Windows 98 is released. Consumers are pissed at the memory leaks.
2000 AD - Earth survives another 1000 years. God is impressed, but "End of the World" theorists are pissed. So is Prince, because it's not 1999 anymore.
2008 AD - You are reading this, and you are pissed.


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