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Who Beats Your Meat?

This isn't one of those fake Internet signs; this is a real sign that I saw while on a business trip in northern Minnesota a couple of months ago.

And it reminds me of a conversation I overheard in the cafeteria when I was in high school -- must have been 10th or 11th grade. Gabe and a couple of other guys at the next table over we're talking about what losers kids that still masturbated were. I don't remember the exact conversation, but to paraphrase, it went something like:

"When I was a kid, I masturbated like a kid; when I became a man, I put my penis away."

It's not that the guys thought masturbation was sinful; it's just that if you didn't have a girlfriend to handle your affairs, so to speak, then you were just a wanker.


  1. You know Morgan's Meat Market in mattoon used to have a sign similar to that in front of their store... That really made me laugh

  2. Perhaps I simply have a dirty mind?

    Seeing such signs do make me think twice about shaking the hand of the establishment's owner, though.


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