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Showing posts from July 27, 2008

Funny Metaphors Used in High School Essays

The following examples help explain why I never taught English at the high school level :) *** I especially like 19-25 ***

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage …


To my 10 or 12 loyal readers, fret not. I've got a lot on my plate right now, but I will definitely be back blogging on a regular basis within a couple of weeks.

I'll explain more about what's going on later, but safe to say, life at Writer's Poke will remain slow as other areas of my life have moved to the front burner for the moment.

Nothing like putting out fires, eh?

(Sorry for the number of cliched expressions infesting the above paragraphs... no time right now to be even somewhat original... but enough about me... how's you're life going this summer? Email me, or post a comment.)