Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from October 19, 2008

365 Nights -- A Sexless Book about Doing It for a Year

Two memoirs were released this summer with sex as the unifying theme.
One was the straight-to-paperback 365 Nights by Charla Muller. In her epilogue, she asks that English majors go easy on her, so I'll try to be kind.
Muller's book promises to be a book about sex, but while she shows us the gun above the fireplace, she never takes it down off the mantle. The sex itself, which one would rationally assume would be the centerpiece of the book, occurs off stage. All we get are cliches like "doing the deed" and "the Gift."
This could have been a perfectly nice book about married life and intimacy, but the book is mis-titled and therefore misleading. As a reader, I'm not looking for any pornographic details, but I am looking for some specifics here. Muller never once mentions what happens in the bedroom, whether she orgasms, or anything like that. She does mention that her husband was once, around the 80th night, too tired to complete, but that's as graphic…

Mane Attraction -- Writer's Poke #121

For Writers:

When you start to go bald, my wife tells me, just shave off your hair. Don't do a comb-over.

I have no intention of doing a comb-over, but that's a choice a lot of men make. Don't they know better? They must, but something about vanity blinds them to the fact that they are doing something that most swore they'd never do.

Does hair still equal masculinity in our culture? Chest hair is no longer sexy, unless you're David Hasselhoff or Paul Stanley. Leg hair doesn't seem to be important either, although I remember when I was growing up that kids would point out that I didn't have a lot of it, as if not having a sufficient amount of leg hair made me less of a man.

I've kept a goatee for years, but that's simply out of convenience. Shaving every day is a drag, as I found out when I experimented with the bald look -- both face and head -- in my early 20s. But assuming I do start going bald like my dad and his dad before him, I have no problem sha…

Forgiving Dr. Mengele -- Writer's Poke #120

For Writers:

Eva Kor decided that she couldn't live with hate any longer; she forgave the human beings that experimented on her and her twin sister; she forgave people involved in a great evil.

She forgave people, not the evil. Somehow, she recognized that forgiving the former was possible without also forgiving the latter.

People hated her for her willingness to forgive, claiming that she had no right to forgive. But Eva's point was this: forgiveness is the only way to move on. It is the only real path forward. And it's an individual choice. She didn't need anyone to ask for her forgiveness. Forgiveness is something freely offered.

Forgiveness is power. Forgiveness is liberation.

To forgive is not to forget. How could the Holocaust ever be forgotten? But what purpose is gained by holding on to hate?

In what ways have you allowed hate to control you?

"You cannot hate other people without hating yourself." -- Oprah Winfrey