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Cookie Monster, Re-educated -- Writer's Poke #261

The only Cookie Monster my daughter knows plays soccer with Ernie, ice skates with Big Bird, and likes to eat healthy foods, such as apples, salad, and milk.

This was not the Cookie Monster I grew up with. In the 1970s, Cookie Monster was always shoving cookies into his mouth. But even at the age of 5, I could tell that he wasn't actually eating any of the cookies. You see, the Cookie Monster didn't have a throat, and un-eaten cookies were obviously flying everywhere.

Nevertheless, the good people at the Children's Television Network decided in 2006 that the Cookie Monster was a bad example for children, and soon thereafter, he was shown exercising and eating healthy snacks. He can still "eat" the occasional cookie, but for all intents and purposes, he's been neutered.

Not surprisingly, no one seems to care that Cookie Monster doesn't speak grammatically-correct English. When he talks, he sounds like he learned English from either Frankenstein's monster, or by watching Indian actors in 1940s Hollywood films.

And have we forgotten that Cookie Monster is, after all, a monster! Since when do we learn morals and values and proper eating habits from monsters? Monsters should set bad examples. If you want to show the consequences of eating too many cookies, I don't have any problem with that. Show Cookie Monster after a bender, but don't take away what was his sole purpose for existence for the first 30 years of his life.

What has changed from your childhood that really annoys you?
"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five." -- Groucho Marx


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